still in grief

one year ago..

23rd January 2010

start of my new phase of life

departure - separation - grief - remembrance - memories

definitely it's something i won't ever forget

it's hard to forget whilst still visibly remembered .




during this one year..

learnt new things

change & adapt to surrroundings & life

sometimes still quite hard to accept the fact that she had left

but looking back into reality, i need to face the truth in life

& continue living with the lost

on surface the smile, laughter & happiness are minimal

deep beneath the sorrow, sadness & grief seems so vast .



one year has gone..

i have been trying to capture & not to let go any part of my memories from the day i've born

every tiny bits of memories about us

every single actions & words she said

every little care & concern she showered me

every thing, every thing, every thing

i'll always keep in mind, not to miss any single parts out of my memory

as for now, this is all that i have left with about her .




one year later probably..

similar feelings might still be uderlying

thoughts could have diminished

but lost is something that can't be parted .

now he is everything that i have in life

& i am his everything in life

i hope he won't feel lonely (as how i felt)

i hope he would get used to new people entering into our life

i don't mind if he has a companion (i'm understanding the need of it)

i want him to be happy, lively & healthy as years goes by .




i realised . . .

lost of something can be agonising

but once if u lose hope,

u had lost everything .



she had left

but

she gave me hope

the hope to make me carry on

in life .


i'm living on strongly now

because

of

her hope .







namaste.